Hey there friends,

This is a very different post than my usual posts.

So if you follow me on social media you will already know this.

But on the 13th March 2018, my beautiful mother passed away from ovarian cancer. She was 54 years old

She first got diagnosed in July of 2016. She had 4 chemos then a full hysterectomy and then 2 more chemos.

After the surgery, we were told that a piece less than half a centimetre was left under the lung. but the last 2 chemos should get rid of it.

She was in remission for 10 months until a visit to the oncologist for a check-up showed that the little piece had flared up. It was now throwing out fluid.

So a different oncologist suggested lung surgery to remove some of the cancer on the lung and to stick the lung to the chest.

1 week later she had surgery in September 2017. She was in the hospital for her birthday.

She was sent home and for 3 weeks she suffered because she couldn't breathe properly. She required oxygen but the hospital didn't organise any so 3 weeks later my mum fell and hit her head on the tiles because of the lack of oxygen. We called the ambulance and she was brought to emergency . She was later transferred to another hospital where she stayed for a week. They organised oxygen to be sent home with her.

Further tests showed that the fluid had come back around the lung and was now around the other lung.

She started chemo. With this certain chemo it was the same one she had the year before but on the 8th one, she got a reaction so they had to stop it. When she saw the oncologist again he put her on another chemo. After the 3rd she had a scan and it showed that the chemo wasn't working. They said that there was nothing else they could do. But mum demanded they do something so they gave her another chemo.

She was still on oxygen and she had more trouble breathing she could even walk to the bathroom without losing breathe. We got her a wheelchair so she could get out of the house.

But the Saturday of the labour day long weekend everything went downhill.

Dad was helping her have a shower and she said she wasn't feeling well so we called the ambulance.

They brought her to the hospital and gave her a mask to put on. Dad was with her and then he left that night and came home. The next morning we got a call from the nurse telling us my mum is deteriorating and she was waking up and then falling back asleep. So we rushed there and saw her the doctor said they will try everything to get her back to normal. She was very sleepy that day but we thought when we returned the next day she would be better. But the next morning we got another call from the doctor and told us to come in because she is getting worse. We rushed in and she wouldn't wake up. I started crying we finally got her awake but she was very drowsy.

The doctor said that they tried everything and they would give her something to calm her down.

We called all our family in to see mum just in case she passed away. The room was packed. My grandmother was next to my mum all night. We even brought my dog Rocky to the hospital to see mum.

At 2:10 am on the 13th march my mother took her last breath surrounded by family. There was me and my dad, my grandmother, my mum's aunty and uncle, their son and my cousin. It was such a tough time.

We cried so much and being home without feels different. I'm expecting her to walk through the door.

We had her funeral on the 21st march 2018 it was such a beautiful service and we buried her in the mausoleum.

I learnt that family is the most important thing when things like this happen. I don't know what we would have done if we didn't have family around us supporting us.

It's just my dad and I now and our little dog Rocky. Time heals pain but I miss her so much every day.

When dad goes back to work and I'm home alone it's going to be the hardest because for the past 2 years I was her carer. I keep thinking about the things she will be missing out on in the future like birthdays etc. Mothers day will be the hardest.

Thank you for reading this post I know it was a long one and I'm so sorry.

UPDATE: So I decided to add this post to my daniical blog aswell. We also lost my dog Rocky on the march 9th 2019. Almost exactly 1 year after my mum passed away. We took him to the vet becasue he was having problems breathing and his gums and ears were white so we knew something was seriously wrong. The vet said that he only had 5% red blood cells and there are only 2 options we can give him a blood transfusion but that will only last 48 hours and it may not work or put him down. So we discussed it with my cousin and the vet was basically suggesting that putting him down was the preferred option. So we all agreed. We all couldn't stop crying. Rocky took his last breath with his paw in my hand. (Writing this I'm tearing up, I miss them so much) At least he wasn't alone when he passed.

Have you lost a parent or pet or anyone close to you?